z e e b o d e m

Last friday’s chocolates.. i had a green duvel in zebra before cc opened. One of us got her back stolen during the night. Mine was with me all the time – you live and you learn. Last train home. Last train from work. All over at last.

Took me more than two years and everyone was amazed about the fact that i could keep up with it so long / at all. Thinking back i’m surprised myself.. The answer: by growing numb, i guess. Knowing it could have been worse. Awareness alive on the background at the same time. Knowing this was not living and there must come a change.

Change. Just like many events in my life, it sort of happened on its own, when the time was right for it. No sooner – although it could have.

Today i had a cup of green matcha tea in the afternoon and while i was half way drinking it i saw that the green dust at the bottom formed a bird with an open circle as it’s nest. Phoenix rising. It looked like.

S had come home early. Said the reason was being depressed. He’s sleeping now under the cover of green fairies.

Next to me.